Jerry: My sister wants to buy
expensive makeup, but my mother says she’s too heavy
Teacher: Um, do you mean too
young?
Teacher: If you had 24hrs to yourself,
to do anything you want, what would you do?
Sophia: Run away.
Annie: Sleep. Maybe eat, but
sleep again.
(My severely dishearted middle schoolers)
Kids: No Christmas teacher. But
couples have Christmas. Do you have a boyfriend teacher?
Teacher: Mmm nope. Too much work.
Girls: No teacher! But you’re
beautiful!
Teacher: So I need a boyfriend?
Girls: Yes. Probably. Or else no presents and no Christmas.
Emma: I have older brother! How old are you teacher? He's 16.
Now on that subject…
Teacher: So I don’t have a
boyfriend. Do any of you have a boyfriend or a boy you like?
Noa and Janice: (sigh) No
teacher
Sunny: Lena likes Lloyd! And
Lloyd likes Lena!
Emma: (whispers to me) I like Lloyd too.
Sunny: Me too! I like Lloyd
too!
Teacher: Lloyd, in the spirit of Christmas, you should share some of that love.
Lloyd: I like the girls too
Teacher: So what do we think of
the snow?
Kids: So much snow teacher! I
want to play in it and snow jello
Teacher: You mean snow angel?
Teacher: One little piece of
snow…it’s a…
Alex: Snow face!
Teacher: Snowflake.
Teacher: Repeat after the song: jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh.
Kids (singing with the song): Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle all way. Oh what sdfkdg ghjfhsjkdfkj dhf ONE HORSE sdfhjasd
(they're only 6, so we'll work on it)
Teacher: Alright, Christmas
time. Who’s birthday is on Christmas?
Terry: Santa’s!
Lena: Nooo, Noooo, Not Santa’s
birthday! Rudolph’s!
Teacher: think of religion,
it’s a Christian holiday…
Lena: we know it’s at
Christmas. Rudolph’s birthday!
Teacher: Why does Rudolph have
a red nose?
Dave: a reindeer hit him with
a snowball?
Alex: He's cold, he's always outside.
Teacher: On Christmas Eve in
Canada and America, what do we put out for Santa and the reindeer to eat?
Answers: Supper? Beef? Kimchi?
Rice? Presents? (that’s not a food Lloyd)
Teacher: We actually put out
cookies with milk for Santa, and carrots for the reindeer.
Kids: Eww, poor reindeer
Sunny: I like cookies! Teacher if I was Santa I'd want cake.
Lena: But then you be SOOO fat.
Sunny: (sad) say nice to me Lena.
Teacher: Now we’re going to
make our Wish List to Santa. We write about what we want for Christmas.
Terry: Snow
Kids: Ya, lots of snow!
Terry: And snow fights!
Teacher: (during BINGO) sorry, actually there’s normal cake and then that
brown one is called fruit cake. No BINGO. Not the same.
Juno: Why? Normal cakes can
have fruit sometimes. Then fruit cake?
Teacher: No, different kinds
of cake. Made differently.
Juno: I like Korean class more.
Teacher: This is a picture of
mistletoe. People hang mistletoe on the top of their door like this. When two
people are underneath the mistletoe, they have to kiss.
Kids: (freak out, yelling, laughing, making kissy faces) Teacher, you do??
Teacher: No mistletoe here.
(End of class I’m standing
guard at the door, and when the kids walk past, 3 or 4 shake their hand above
my head and say “mistletoooooe” before running)
Teacher: It’s red and white….striped….minty
taste…
Kids: candy!
Teacher: (draw on board) candy….
Kids: Yes teacher, we say
candy!
Teacher: candy what? Candy c-
Kids: candy candy! Candy cake!
Candy mint!
Teacher: My favorite
performance at the circus is the trapeze artists. It looks dangerous! Ok,
repeat again Jerry for the 5th
time…
Jerry: My favorite…perfume at
….circus is traps. It looks dangerous!
Teacher: Ya ok, just go back
in the classroom
Teacher:
So now that we’ve gone through all this, who can tell me, in just a few
sentences, what happens in Harry Potter?
Sophia: Ok, Harry Potter is a
wizard, and Voldemort keeps try to kill him. But Harry has a wand. But
Voldemort has a wand. And he can fly. And, um, there’s a giant snake. And a diary.
Then Service Black dies, that was his uncle. And OH the elf!
Teacher: Right, good job, but
let’s get back to the problem and solution. So Voldemort keeps trying to kill
Harry, what does Harry do?
Sophia: He runs away. (coaxing from me on the board) Oh ya and
his friends Ron and Herald help him. They’re smart. But not Ron, he just has a
car.
No comments:
Post a Comment