The first I noticed was little girls showing their love for the boys and vice versa. I have a class of eight six year olds, and three of the girls are in love with one boy named Lloyd. Who (like all of them) is adorable, but apparently there is some allure about Lloyd that makes him very desirable with the ladies. One class, the girls wrote his name on little slips of paper with hearts and threw them at him during class. Or they draw him pictures. I’ve had two of the girls come up to me and whisper they like Lloyd, with a knowing look into my eyes that conveys it is not the I-like-him-like-a-girl-friend way. In recent events, Lloyd has reciprocated interest in Lena by way of his beach picture of “What I like to do at the Beach.” Because in his picture two people are embracing in a fury of limbs and Picasso-style body parts. So I asked Lloyd what was going on, and he said it was him and Lena. Next beach picture of him and a girl he erased his eyes after a bit of thought and replaced them with giant, red hearts. Apparently it ‘s just American children that go through an “ew cooties” stage, because I teach all ages of children in Korea and they all act the exact same around each other. They will choose boys or girls as partners, but often like the Battle of the Sexes when it comes to high competition games.
Lloyd's beach drawing. He erased his eyes and replaced them with bright red hearts.
"What do you like to do at the beach?" Look closely at the two figures entwined (young Picasso). I asked Lloyd what it was and he said him and Lena.
This opening up about love and affection doesn’t get
outgrown in adulthood. My coworkers love complaining with us about men and 'where are all the men', and 'oh I want a boyfriend, I'm lonely.' They're very interested in commenting on people's relationships we know about, but they don't criticize in public. When I went with Callum to
another big city last weekend we were asked five times in barely 24hrs there if
we were boyfriend- girlfriend. When we sort of shrugged our shoulders and smiled,
they pressed the issue: are we boyfriend-girlfriend? 'Beautiful and handsommme' (eyebrow raising). 'Banging' (cue drunk Korean man and hand gestures)? Thank you
all for your concern on our status, you’ve given us much to ponder.
Even in daily conversation it differs. When you ask a Canadian how they’re doing, they’ll almost
always say good or not bad. When you ask a Korean you open a floodgate of how you're really feeling today, and I
actually find it refreshing. It’s such a simple question and answer in Canada,
but here Koreans find it a great time to unload and personally answer. They can be very direct communicators at times, and will often follow up their question of 'how are you' with more questions about why you feel that way. Koreans find it polite to show interest in each others opinions and important to talk about feelings. However they are also known to use white lies or heavy sugar coating whenever they have to say something offensive or they know what they have to say will be bad news.
They also aren’t afraid to let you know how you look that
day. My co-teachers and I were taken out to a fancy thank you dinner one night,
and from across the table of ten the director asked my friend if he bit his
nails. Uh, no? She giggled and said they were very short and very dirty. The
other ladies just nodded and agreed, as everyone waited for Kasey’s response.
He chose to laugh too, because how else do you end that? Very openly I've been asked if I was on a diet depending on my portion choice (they ruled that out), if I'm still
single (depending on my stories from my previous night), how I honestly like each of my classes and job, but was also told some of the kindergarten parents thought I was beautiful (to which I modestly protest). Compliments and questions come at you every day, but you have to remember to be modest and not to criticize someone in public.
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